fuckyeahsexedquestions

Q
I don't think oscar wilde actually ever said that sex=power quote. for some reason he gets a lot of quotes misattributed to him.
Anonymous
A

It’s pretty much an internet meme now to misquote people so yeah. I’m too tired to look it up, but don’t trust quotes!


Q
It amazes me that you told that person that it was possible that they could have Hidradenitis suppurativa in one reply. I went to the doctors for about 7 years and they said it was because of "bad hygiene" and "tight clothing" and neither was the case in my situation. Finally, after years of research I found out what it was a few months ago, told my doctor and I was finally given a cream and ointment prescription.
Anonymous
A

I basically sat down one day and searched for all the different kinds of bumps I could find, and occasionally I’ll get people who tell me “hey, I had this thing and didn’t know it was a thing so maybe you should tell your followers about it” and so it would get added. I THINK Hidradenitis suppurativa was one of those.

-FYSE


Q
I feel like I should stress that consent is a heavy and major part of BDSM. It's something that is stressed heavily as well as constant communication. I also want to put out that not all kink is about violence and it's honestly telling when people assume that all what BDSM is.
Anonymous
A

yup yup yup

-FYSE


Q
Re: post about bumps on the vulva area. I literallly had no idea vulva acne was even a thing until now so yes your post about non STI bumps was hugely helpful. All my STI education was vague about what kind of bumps were what so hearing it in detail is great. Please do an extended post. Thanks!
Anonymous
A

Awesome! What other information do you think should be added to the extended post? I really want to get a collection of pictures of different bumps. Unfortunately most of the ones you find online are of the worst possible case so it’s not really helpful.

-FYSE


Q
Thank you for the post about anal sex because my boyfriend and I tried it for the first time last week (we're gay males) and it didn't exactly go too far, or anywhere for that matter, and we were talking about maybe trying it again in the near future and what needs to go differently when I saw that post on my dash. Turns out we were doing it all wrong, obviously. Thank you! :)
Anonymous
A

awesome! Happy to help!

-FYSE


Q
I wanted to point out that, on your "what does cis mean", question, the the person's biological sex itself isn't important. It is whatever gender they are proclaimed to be. If your biological sex is female but you were proclaimed male at birth, and you identify as female, then you would be transgender.
Anonymous
A

woops I usually do make that distinction. Can you point out where the “what does cis mean” question is? I’ve posted about it several time and I can’t find the one that says it. 

I personally don’t like the phrase biological sex, because I think it’s pretty meaningless as sex in general is a social construct, not biology. I use designated sex because the doctors designate a sex at birth based on your outward appearance which may be different than what it is designated when you if they look at chromosomes, hormones, or internal reproductive organs.

-FYSE


Q
thank you so much for explaining about fordyce spots. i thought there had always been something wrong with me until i read that
Anonymous
A

no problem! I’ve known so many people who don’t know about fordyce spots. 

-FYSE


Q
Do you know that quote by Oscar Wilde that says "Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power"? I am a heterosexual young woman. I know I must have internalized a lot of misogyny growing up. I literally cannot imagine having a sexual relationship that's not based on power imbalance, however mild or implied. I've seen men shoving women into walls and then kissing them as far as I can remember. Is there a way not to turn sex into a competition?
Anonymous
A

Suddenly less of a fan of Oscar Wilde. Sex isn’t about power. Abuse is about power. Sex is about pleasure, intimacy, and connection either to your own sexuality or a partner. You just have to keep reminding yourself of that. It’s okay to have a certain amount of an imbalance of power in a relationship. For example, I’m disabled. Unless I date another disabled person there’s going to be an imbalance of power because I don’t make a stable income and there are things I need help with. It’s when someone takes advantage of that power and uses it to control, manipulate, or hurt a partner that it’s not okay. Look critically at your sexual encounters. As long as you consent to it beforehand and your partner asks for that consent and you talk about it and are enjoying it it’s okay if you want to be shoved against a wall and kissed. I think my first horny teenager moment was seeing Spike and Buffy have vigorous angsty sex that tore down a house in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Looking back at that now I see how that situation is not okay because consent was not asked or given. However, it’s okay for me to enjoy that because that’s part of my sexuality and sexual desires. As long as you make sure that all your encounters hinge on consent and you have a partner that respects that you’ll be okay. Also remember that dominance stays in the bedroom. It’s not okay for your partner to exert what they want over you in your every day life and relationship.

-FYSE


Q
I think BDSM is the opposite of empowering for women. It is abusive. Men shouldn't be encouraged to cultivate sexually aggressive fantasies, and women shouldn't be conditioned to find that desirable. Even when roles are reversed, I believe it's wrong that roles - more like stereotypes - should be so narrowly defined at all.
Anonymous
A

I agree that no one should be encouraged to cultivate sexually aggressive fantasies or to find it desirable, and I always encourage to look critically at your sexual desires, kinks, fetishes, and fantasies. However, BDSM and kink are built on the concept of consent. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be sexually dominated or a man wanting to be sexually dominated or ANYONE wanting to be sexually dominated or dominating as long as like every sex act it’s based on the pleasure of both parties and if everyone is educated enough to be able to do it in a way that everyone gets pleasure from it. I think just saying “it’s bad” isn’t going to stop it from happening any more than saying “don’t have sex” is going to stop teens from having sex. Just like I educate how to avoid pregnancy and STIs, how to recognize abuse and manipulation, how to properly consent and ask for consent, and how to communicate within a sexual encounter, I educate how to do all that within the context of BDSM as well as the risks with every act, how to do it safely, how to take care of yourself and your partner, and how to explore, embrace, and except your sexual desires. 

-FYSE


Q
I know you have an anal sex guide, but do you remember TwentySomethingHussy's anal guide? I thought it complemented yours well and I think you should link to it more often. I know you reblogged a LONG time ago but I will track it down.
A

yes I do remember it, I think you’re right it’s about time I reblogged it again.

-FYSE