Perhaps going on a type of birth control could alleviate the fear! I know I had the anxiety for a little while and then when I got an IUD and knew the statistics it took away that fear.
If you are being as safe as you say, you really shouldn’t worry too much. If you really are getting hysterical after every time you have sex, it may be an underlying problem that is making you feel that way. When you have anxiety or are super stressed out that can happen.